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How to Present Yourself
By Allison Cheston, Guest Blogger
Last year at this time I attended the Wall Street Women’s Forum , a private event for 100 women in and around Wall Street. The theme of the event is to help women build relationships and network efficiently. It’s about women helping women. And a lot of the talk both last year and at the most recent forum just last week, is about how men present themselves more boldly and confidently than women do, and what we women can do about it. Toot Your Horn Last year Heidi Miller, President of international at JPMorgan Chase, noted that women tend to keep their heads down and work hard, convinced that their bosses will notice their hard work and promote them accordingly. She feels that women have been “taught” to believe that they need to be team players instead of tooting their own horns—and that these two concepts collide with one another. She said that when a woman goes into an interview, and she’s done 90% of what the job requires, she will tend to focus on the 10% that she hasn’t done. I have seen this time and again with even my most accomplished clients, and I believe it’s a confidence issue. Whether the confidence is real or manufactured, men seem to have an easier time promoting themselves than women do. Miller suggested that women seek opportunities to be more visible, like lunching in the executive dining room instead of eating at your desk (because you have so much work to do). She said women should raise their hands more: volunteer for more work that puts them front and center, such as teaching key training classes or working on an experimental project. She said that women need to cultivate key relationships at their firms, finding “sponsors”, who can provide access to new opportunities. She contended that a lot of women would put up with the hours and the difficulties of their middle management jobs if they were better prepared and knew what steps to take to rise to the top of their organization. Fake it Until You Make it Can confidence be faked? Can a woman present herself boldly when instead she feels unprepared? Is it inauthentic to try and be what you’re not? This year’s Wall Street Women’s Forum keynote speaker was Carla Harris, Managing Director at Morgan Stanley with a long list of board positions and other activities to her credit. Harris is a passionate advocate of bringing your authentic self to work every day and feels that if you can’t be yourself at work, you will not be effective enough and will ultimately sabotage your career. She believes that being yourself gives you an automatic boost in confidence because, as she says in her book “Expect to Win”, “Who can bring your best self to the organization besides you?” She talks about how she presents herself as a whole person at work, including leveraging both her spiritualism and her gospel singing—two pursuits not immediately associated with investment bankers! As a senior black woman in an organization where she is the exception rather than the rule, Harris successfully makes the case for showing your colleagues who you are and leveraging your strengths each day at work—even if they are different or not immediately recognizable as relevant to your career. I agree with Harris that it’s never a good idea to present yourself as confident when you’re not, but that being confident should come automatically with presenting your best self in each situation. And that you can prepare yourself for success by leading with the expectation that you will indeed succeed. I’d love to hear from you about your best strategies for presenting your best self in every situation. About the Author  Allison Cheston is a career advisor, marketer and expert in executive search. She works with mid-career executives and young adults, to help them identify their unique value in the marketplace and explore alternative careers.She is the founder of In The Driver’s Seat: Work-Life Navigation Skills for Young Adults, an upcoming book and curriculum that provides high school and college students a systematic approach for identifying their natural aptitudes and interests, exploring how they can fit in the world of work, and applying that learning to productive summer internships and work experiences. Previously Ms. Cheston served as Chief Marketing Officer of the Association of Executive Search Consultants (AESC), the global trade group for the executive search industry. Prior to that she spent 20 years in international marketing and branding, new business development and Public Relations. Ms. Cheston writes regularly for executive search and career publications, and is a frequent speaker on both recruiting and career management. A prolific blogger, she is the author of the blog In the Driver’s Seat, which explores career trends and offers advice on young adult career exploration. She blogs for mid-career professionals at TheExaminer.com. Ms. Cheston is a marketing advisor, trainer and mentor to Community Training Employment Resources, a New York City based organization providing intensive job readiness training, private sector partnering to identify positions, and ongoing career management and mentoring services, to underemployed and unemployed adults. She holds a BA in International Relations and Romance Languages from the University of Michigan, and an MA in International Education from NYU. She also holds a Certificate in Adult Career Planning from NYU and is a French, Italian, Portuguese and Spanish speaker. She lives in New York City. Is this helpful? 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